Judge Each Day Not by The Harvest You Reap, But By the Seeds You Plant.
Today, I got divorced.
This day has been long in coming and I cannot believe that it is finally here. I have waited and waited, and that ass has kept pushing things off, fighting and pushing and pulling and waiting and waiting and making life as miserable as possible for me and the kids.
The judge cleaned his clock. Finally. Thousands of dollars wasted on useless things that could have been spent on other things, like the mortgage and utility bills and food for the kids... but at least it's over. Thank God.
I was named Primary and Residental parent for the children. Which is truly amazing, because S would be terrible for them. The little girl has been ill and he's been too busy doing whatever it is that he's been doing to take her to the doctor. The little boy has been ill for several weeks and he's been neglected by S for weeks. I've taken the kids to the doctor several times in the past weeks. I simply don't understand what S is thinking, but I know exactly who is doing the thinking for him.
I also dropped my maiden name entirely, my legal name is now just my married name. So many people have asked why I've chosen to do this.. and frankly, it's simply because the XXXX family has decided that they want nothing to do with me, and I'm happier not having anything to do with them. It works both ways.
I went to church this past Sunday and heard the most beautiful songs. I just don't get the whole Jesus thing, still. I hear a lot of contradictory messages in there, and when I listen to the teachings from the minister, I agree with a lot, especially from the Old Testament, but I don't agree with, nor do I understand the New Testament. I don't question or have questions on it either. I do hear a lot of messages in it that I don't want in my life, but I don't question.
I've said it before, and I will continue to say it, I was born Jewish, I will die Jewish, but I won't live Jewish right now. I don't like the religious community and I won't live by their standards.
