I wanted to write this as a dear family post... but, I don't have a family anymore.
It's been a year since I've last posted. I've written posts a thousand times in my head, but I've never been able to put it down in writing. I'm still completely unsure as to whether or not this is going to sound the way I've wanted it to.
I want to know if I ever truly existed to the family. Did I ever mean anything to you? Was I ever really a child? A daughter?
It's a complex question. The reality is that my childhood had some very happy memories, and some very not happy ones, but it is still the only childhood I remember. And, whether or not you were abusive to me, you were still the only family I knew. And this, is where I'm having such a difficult time.
How does a family do something like this to one another? Boat never forgot, nor did he stop communicating with his children... and yet, my own family dropped me like I was trash. They took G1 in and treated him like gold. He just bought his house, with cash, because he doesn't pay his child support and did not pay the bills he had promised to pay.
How does a family allow something like that to occur?
Even more so, how do I live now?
